Life's a Song
by Harikari
Summary: Kurt and Puck unravel a dangerous mystery involving magic, demons and the horrors of spontaneous song and dance during their summer vacation.  Slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Life's a Song  
><strong>Author:<strong> Harikari  
><strong>Rating:<strong> Hard R  
><strong>PairingCharacters:** Eventual Puck/Kurt, Ensemble  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't own em'. This was written for fun, not profit. Title taken from the BtVS episode.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>Violence, strong language, some gore, eventual mild smut, huge spoilers for season 1 of Glee and some spoilers for season 2, crossover (contains spoilers for certain episodes of BtVS and a few characters/mention of a few characters from BtVS but no knowledge of BtVS should be necessary to understand this fic), etc.

**Summary:**Kurt and Puck unravel a dangerous mystery involving magic, demons and the horrors of spontaneous song and dance during their summer vacation.

* * *

><p><strong>"Life's a song you don't get to rehearse."<strong> - Buffy Summers (Season 6, _Once More, With Feeling_)

**Part One**

_June 2010_

It wasn't until Kurt left Lima for a week to visit his grandmother that he realized people randomly bursting into song in school hallways and in the frozen food aisle at the grocery store wasn't exactly normal. In fact, he concluded during that rather dull week of his granny's bland cooking and no satellite TV and a guest bed that smelled like moth balls, it was downright _freaky_.

Unnatural.

While sitting on the plush sofa in the den, only half listening to his grandmother's angry rant about daytime soaps and how they were all going down the drain, he turned it all over in his head.

Classmates suddenly deciding to sing their hearts out in the middle of a Geometry lesson. People dancing on top of the food court tables at the mall. And the glee club? Well. He himself hadn't thought twice about launching into a somewhat hip-hop rendition of _Vacation_by The Go-Go's with the rest of the show choir at the sound of the last bell of the school year. (They had all somehow ended up dancing their ways across the football field - at the end of the number their freshly obsolete homework assignments and notes had been thrown into the air and had fluttered slowly to the ground around them as they had wandered away from the field in a slightly confused daze).

Once his annual visit with his grandmother was over with - she was an ornery lady with a shrill yell but Kurt had an undeniable soft spot for her because she was his _mother's_mother and because she always gifted him with marvelous scarves on his birthdays - he decided to broach the subject with his father.

"So," Kurt started and his father granted him a quick glance before turning back to the road. The man had his hands wrapped around the steering wheel and had been humming along under his breath to the Johnny Cash song booming from the speakers. "Dad. How is everything going at home?"

His dad frowned a little. "Fine. Why?"

Kurt shrugged and reached to spin the radio's volume nob. Cash's voice got softer and his dad's frown became more pronounced. "I was just wondering if anything happened while I was away? Like...anything unusual?"

"Kurt," said his dad. He sounded amused. "You've only been away from home for a week, son. And you were just at your grandmother's. You weren't even out of state. Besides, you know I would have told you if something important had happened."

It was Kurt's turn to frown. He turned to look out the window and mused that he should have thought out his line of questioning, should have been better prepared to talk to his father about the strangeness overtaking their hometown.

But really. How did someone prepare for talking about something like _this_? Was there in fact a good way to bring up such a crazy subject? A way that wouldn't make him look like a complete nutcase?

"I just..." he trailed off and cleared his throat. "I was just wondering about the singing and dancing."

"What?" His dad shook his head. "You mean like your club? I thought you said you guys won't have anymore rehearsals until sometime in August."

"Not _that_singing and dancing," said Kurt. "I mean all the impromptu performances around town. Are those...still going on?"

His dad got quiet for a moment. Kurt bit at his bottom lip in nervous anticipation, listened to the low murmur of the radio DJ announcing the next song.

Then the man shot him a look - faced him for just a second before turning back to the road again. His expression was one of awe and confusion and Kurt realized his father was likely experiencing the same strange feeling of almost-disbelief _he_had when he had thought back to the sudden uprising of choreographed dance and show tunes in Lima during his stay with his grandmother.

"Isn't it...weird?" Kurt spoke tentatively. He didn't want to jump right in and voice the problem, didn't even quite know how to wrap his tongue or his mind around the situation Lima was (as far as knew still, currently) in.

Some of the stunned fear he had been feeling since that moment of clarity on his grandmother's couch must have shone through in his voice. His father straightened in his seat and reached out with one hand to pat Kurt on the shoulder as the other tightened its grip on the steering wheel.

"Son," he started. "I know this is...weird." He snorted and shook his head. "Really weird and I didn't even realize whatever the hell it is is happening until you mentioned it just now but don't..."

And then the man allowed his sentence to trail off into nothing.

Kurt looked away from the roadside rushing by outside his window - from the green 'Welcome to Lima' sign they were passing - to stare at his father. "Dad?"

"Hmm?" The man seemed distracted, deeply engrossed in the act of driving.

"You were saying...?"

When his father didn't reply or finish his earlier thought Kurt pressed. "What was it that you were going to say? About the singing and dancing?"

"Singing and dancing?" asked Burt. "I thought you said glee club wasn't meeting again until August?"

Kurt's mouth fell open. His heart started beating unnaturally fast in his chest. "Dad. What?" He stared at his father with wide eyes.

"What? What is it? What's _wrong_, Kurt?" Burt's tone became more demanding with each question. He started scanning the road and the roadside, apparently looking for the cause of his son's distress or perhaps planning to pull over.

Kurt swallowed. "Dad...no," he managed. "It's nothing. I was...talking about glee club. I hope I land a solo next year."

Burt nodded and Kurt bit at his bottom lip. He didn't want to panic his dad. But seriously. What the hell had just happened?

Had he imagined having the entire first portion of that conversation?

Kurt looked out the window, heart still pumping too fast.

_What just...oh._

And then abruptly he recalled the 'Welcome to Lima' sign. Realized that he had been away from his hometown when the crazy that was happening had become clear to him.

"You sure you're okay?" asked his dad.

_No_, thought the self-proclaimed diva.

"Yes, dad. I'm fine."

He took a deep breath and leaned back in his seat.

Something strange was going down in Lima, Ohio.

Something very strange.

And whatever it was? It looked like Kurt was going to have to deal with it on his own.

* * *

><p>Maybe he was crazy.<p>

Kurt considered this possibility once he and his father were finally home and he was sitting at his mother's old vanity, staring at himself in the mirror. And it certainly _was_a possibility. Was likely even.

Because before he off and visited his grandmother he hadn't noticed anything freaky, hadn't noticed anyone _else _at McKinley or around town noticing anything freaky.

So maybe it was him. Maybe he had been shouldered into a locker or lifted and dropped into a trash bin one too many times.

Only. No. That wasn't it.

_I saw my dad's face_, thought Kurt as he grabbed for his small bottle of facial moisturizer. _For a moment he knew what was going on. For a second he realized something is off like I realized something is off._

Kurt applied the moisturizer and then blinked at his reflection. In a way it would have been much better (if not for him and his personal future) if something was wrong with him. Only him and not all of Lima.

Finished with his nightly beauty routine Kurt changed into an old pair of sweats and a t-shirt - not his favorite choice of pajamas but all of his others were unwashed or still stuffed into the bags he had used for his visit with his grandmother - and climbed into bed. His laptop was sitting on his bedside table; he grabbed for it and turned it on.

After a moment of hesitation he clicked to open his internet browser. A search engine was his homepage. He stared at the blinking cursor and the search bar, his fingers hovered over the keyboard.

_What am I supposed to search for?_

He typed in the words 'singing and dancing uncontrollably' and searched. Links to a number of gospel music sites, music lesson sites and (strangely) a facebook page popped up.

Kurt sighed and snapped the laptop closed without shutting it down, shoved it back onto his nightstand.

The entire situation was utterly ridiculous. It was unbelievable and crazy and scary and shouldn't be happening in the first place. So what exactly was he supposed to do about it? How was he supposed to research it? How was he supposed to put a _stop_to it?

The self-proclaimed diva fell back in his bed and stared at his bare but clean looking ceiling for a few seconds before turning his head and letting his eyes roam around the basement.

He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself and clear his head. He gazed in turn at his large closet, the ajar door to the basement's bathroom, his bookshelf and-

_Wait._

His bookshelf. Books. _Books._ Duh. The _library_.

He didn't have access to McKinley's library with school being out for the year but the public library would have tons of books he didn't have, maybe would have books on strange events similar to the one Lima was experiencing.

It wasn't likely but it was worth a shot. And if he for some reason needed to check something out on the internet the library had wifi too.

With a goal in mind and feeling just slightly better than he had since his father's apparent and sudden memory loss during the drive home Kurt wiggled his way under the covers and closed his eyes.

He attempted to force thoughts of the empty look his father had given him in the truck, of the unnatural singing and dancing and what it all might mean out of his head. He willed himself to get some sleep.

He had a feeling he would need all the rest he could get.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

Unfortunately, Kurt wasn't able to head to the library first thing the next morning. Instead he woke to his father calling down the stairs. He informed Kurt that they were meeting the Hudsons and Rachel for breakfast in a little over an hour.

"And I know how long you take to get ready Kurt so..." The man trailed off and there was a sort of shuffling sound at the top of the stairs as Kurt slowly sat up, rubbing at his eyes and yawning. His dad was lingering.

"Are you up, son? I don't hear-"

"Yes, dad. I'm up."

"Okay." There was a pause. "An hour," his father said again and the basement door closed with a firm _snick_sound.

Kurt stood and moved to his dresser. He retrieved underwear and socks and then opened the door to his large closet and stared.

Normally he would have been upset that his father demand he get ready on such short notice - more often than not it took him an entire hour just to pick an outfit. However he had more pressing things to worry about just now. Things like all of Lima going suddenly insane. Things like getting to the library so he could attempt to do something about that sudden insanity. And things like dealing with Rachel Berry so relatively early on a summer morning. (Okay, Kurt didn't really dread Rachel _quite_that much. He didn't hate her or anything. She just had a personality one had to be...prepared for.)

The diva selected his clothes and hurried to take a shower.

His hair was still damp and he was carefully applying some cherry gloss (it was barely noticeable as far as he could tell, and it kept his lips much healthier than just chap stick alone) to his lips when Burt called down the stairs again. Kurt sighed heavily, stuck his tube of gloss into his pocket and hurried up the stairs.

* * *

><p>"But...why?" asked Finn later. Rachel had already gone home and breakfast had been unspectacular, with the exception of the few minutes the Hudsons and Kurt's father and Rachel had all sung <em>Breakfast at Tiffany's<em>to their swaying waitress.

The football player was sitting on the couch. He had one of Kurt's Xbox 360 controller's in his hand and was staring at the smaller teenager with wide and disbelieving eyes. The television was tuned to the local news; apparently the weather would stay warm but slightly windy for the rest of the day, the mysterious death of a local mall security guard was being investigated and Ohio schools were hurting now more than ever before for money (next year classes would certainly be overcrowded, related the pretty news anchor).

Kurt was already standing at the door. He shrugged and adjusted the black newsboy hat he was wearing. "I told you. I just want to look around, maybe get a few books to read."

"Like for fun?" Finn seemed puzzled by the idea.

"Sure. So when my dad and your mom get back from the store let them know I went to the library, please. Unless...you want to come along?" Kurt tensed a little as he waited for a reply. He was pretty sure Finn would not want to come along but if by some chance he did it might be difficult to-

"No! No. I'm good. I just thought maybe we could play a little Xbox. I mean, I know you don't play a lot but Puck couldn't come over because he's working and I couldn't get ahold of any of the other guys..." Finn trailed off and pressed a few buttons firmly and the screen came to life with zombies and creepy background music. "Have fun. I guess."

"You too. See you later. Maybe we can play tonight." Kurt exited the house, closed the door behind him and sorted through his keys. He reached the Navigator and slid inside.

Then, feeling determined, he started the engine and pulled away from the house.

* * *

><p>The library parking lot was crowded with cars and trucks. Kurt found a spot near the back of the lot and went inside. He smiled at the blank looking young woman behind the check-out counter, then started to browse through the stacks of books.<p>

He had made his way to the religions section and was trying to decide between a book on the End of Times or a book about mediums and angels when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He spun and found Tina, holding a stack of books with strange symbols on their covers and wearing her usual black attire, standing in front of him. She was smiling.

"Hey Kurt," she started. "I didn't expect to run into you here. Or into anyone from school, honestly. What's up?"

"Hey. I was just...looking for something to read."

Tina blinked. Her smile faltered a little. "Oh. Right." She eyed the shelves of books surrounding them. "Something from this section? I didn't know you were interested in-"

"I'm doing research," snapped out Kurt before she could finish. "For something I'm writing. A play. A musical. A musical play. You know, like Broadway.

And that was a complete and utter lie. Kurt was interested in becoming a Broadway star. Not in doing anything behind the scenes. But it wasn't as if he could be honest with the girl.

_Oh, hello Tina. I recently noticed our entire town is acting insane and I thought a government conspiracy or aliens or even something supernatural - like on that show with those two seriously hot brothers - might be the cause. So I came here to do some research, also like on that show with the brothers. Do you know of any books that cover all that? No? Okay then, have a good summer..._

Yeah. That conversation would have gone over real well.

Tina stared hard at him for a long moment before nodding; turned to study the spines of the books he was hovering near. "So. You're going to write a play about...angels?"

Kurt blinked; thought fast. "Um. Well, not really. There is one angel in my musical..." (And at _that_he made a real effort to push the show with the scary stuff and the brothers and their cute angel sidekick out of his mind - it was distracting). He pursed his lips and squinted thoughtfully. "I was really looking for some more general books on the occult."

Tina's eyes widened. "Really? You mean like...magic?"

"Yeah." Suddenly feeling even more uncomfortable and anxious for no reason he could put his finger on, Kurt shrugged. "You're into all of that, aren't you? I've heard you talking about stuff like that before. Do you happen to know of any books that-"

"Sure, yeah," cut in the girl before Kurt could finish. She motioned for him to follow; they left the angel books behind and walked until they were two rows up. Tina balanced the large books she was holding in one arm and waved her free arm in the air. "You'll probably find what you're looking for here. There isn't a huge selection or anything but I think for general research it will work."

Grateful, Kurt smiled. "Thank you."

The girl nodded. She was opening her mouth as if to say more when an annoying, male-sounding voice screeched a protest. The protest was apparently directed at the young woman manning the check-out counter near the front of the library.

"I'm sorry," came the woman's firm tone once the screech had died down. Her reply was certainly louder than a library acceptable whisper but given the volume of the protest that had been directed at her that was understandable. "But there isn't any way I can find out that sort of information, sir. And even if I could I wouldn't be able to _give_you that information..."

There was a mutter instead of another screech after that and Kurt blinked. The mutter sounded familiar but he couldn't quite-

"Mr. Ryerson," said Tina. She was frowning. "That sounds like Sandy Ryerson, doesn't it? I wonder..." She trailed off; met Kurt's gaze. "I better take off. I still need to grab something from the mystery section for Mi...er..."

She seemed to catch herself and shook her head as if to clear it. "Sorry. I'll talk to you later, Kurt. Good luck with your writing. Maybe we can go to the mall or something next week?"

"Sure, sounds fun."

And with that Tina gave a little wave before proceeding to hug her books with both arms again and trotting away, out of sight.

Feeling relieved, Kurt sighed. In a way he was glad he and the goth had accidentally met up (he had been pretty lost roaming the stacks of books and she had been helpful; the computers where library goers were encouraged to look up whatever it was they were looking for were surprisingly busy for a summer day and though Kurt didn't mind waiting looking up aliens and magic and dancing conspiracies with someone looking over his shoulder was just a little too embarrassing - looking up only the aliens and conspiracy was going to be hard enough when he was done with the occult section). However, at the same time he was glad that she had had to leave. Having her hovering while he tried to research whatever it was that was happening would be about as bad as having Finn around would have been.

Kurt rolled his shoulders and stared at the spines of the books facing him. He took in a deep breath, noticed absently that Mr. Ryerson's voice had faded completely. He glanced around in nervous reflex before grabbing a promising looking text (_A Dictionary of Spells_ by R. Giles). He grabbed the only other book he saw by the same author (_Magic: A Brief Summary_) off the shelf before leaving the row, finding an empty table near the back of the library and settling down to read.

* * *

><p>The diva was in the middle of reading a paragraph involving locating something or someone via a carefully crafted spell when his cell phone, from its place on the table near the pile of thick books he was perusing, beeped twice. Loudly.<p>

An aging woman sitting at a nearby table and sporting frizzy, graying hair cleared her throat in obvious annoyance.

Kurt ignored her and glanced at his phone. He had a text message from Finn.

_Where R U?_

_Still at library_, typed the soprano. _Be home soon_. He hit the send button before raising his arms above his head in a stretch and yawning. Quickly, ignoring the glares still being sent his way by the woman, he gathered up his phone and the two books and headed for the check-out counter.

The young woman had been replaced with a man who scanned the books and Kurt's library card without comment.

When Kurt emerged from the building he saw that most of the cars from earlier had cleared out and the sky was darkening; night hadn't fallen but it was getting there. He pulled his keys from his pocket and sorted through them as he walked toward his Navigator.

He had pressed the button on the small black lock device to _beep-beep_open his doors and had his key to the ignition at the ready when he spotted something...shiny. It was right next to his front left tire, glinting prettily in the dying sunlight.

Kurt pulled open the driver side door, dropped the books he was carrying onto the front seat and then moved to pick up the object. He stooped, grabbed it and stood quickly.

It was a necklace. A very pretty necklace. It was made up of a silver chain and a dark stone the teenager couldn't identify. Frowning a little the diva looked back at the library entrance; he didn't particularly feel like going back inside to submit the piece of jewelry to lost and found.

For a moment he considered the necklace. Then, in a sudden flash of movement, he slipped it over his head and onto his neck.

_I'll just return it later_, he thought. _Tomorrow maybe_. Because he had been so engrossed in the books about magic he had selected he hadn't had a _chance_to research anything else he had planned to - he would definitely need to make his way back to the library the next day. Keeping the necklace overnight wouldn't hurt anything.

Heaving a tired sigh Kurt started to turn back to his Navigator and-

_WHAM._

Something slammed into his chest so hard he flew backward and landed on the asphalt, limbs splayed and feeling dazed. "What-" he started but was abruptly cut off when the figure that had slammed into him kneeled at his side.

It was a man, a creepy looking man with jet black hair and sunglasses and an unsettling grin. Despite the heat he was wearing a thick hoodie (and judging by the mix of colors and bulkiness it might even have been layers of hoodies) with the hood pulled up and leather gloves.

Slowly, the man reached down so that one of his gloved hands hovered over Kurt's chest.

_Ohmygod. Ohmygod. Ohmygod._Kurt was panicking, his heart was pounding fast and hard and his mind was working in hysterical circles and he couldn't make himself move. What the hell was happening? What was going on? Who was this guy and what did he want and-

His thoughts stopped dead when the man finally rested a hand across his chest. "So. It's you," said the man. It wasn't a question. His grin widened and he leaned closer to Kurt. "Getting out a little early to search was such a good idea. A little dangerous but so worth it. I wake up and put on this stupid get-up and just start my search and _bam_!"

Kurt jumped and the man laughed. "Here you are," he said.

He stared at the diva for an uncomfortably long moment before laughing again; reaching. "Get up," he ordered. "I'll take you to him."

He grabbed at the diva's forearm, squeezed and started to pull and-

That's when Kurt lashed out. "No!" he shouted suddenly and slammed fist square into the man's face. It was a slightly late reaction to the danger, sure, but at least he was _reacting_.

There was a crack (the man's sunglasses breaking) and then the man let out a pained sounding curse and before the creep could gather himself Kurt pushed himself up and off the ground and then he was _running_. He rounded the Navigator and started for the safety of the library without thought, heart beating faster than ever and-

Kurt let out a high pitched shriek when a hand grabbed him from behind. He found himself wrapped in the creep's incredibly strong arms, his back against the man's chest. "What's wrong with you? Got yourself in deep and now you want to take it all back? Well that's too fucking bad, kid. I'm taking you to-"

"You're not taking him anywhere, you fanged fuck." The voice was deep and familiar and came from behind them. Kurt felt the man tense and start to turn but then there was a slight and sudden pressure and the hands holding him let go.

The soprano scrambled back and away, stared wide eyed at the man. But no. He wasn't really a _man_anymore. His hoodie had fallen and his sunglasses were gone and he had large fangs protruding from his mouth and distinctly yellow eyes and strange, monstrous looking ridges on his face. As Kurt stared the not-man began to scream, and then he began to...smoke. His skin started to gray, as if he was burning to ash from the inside out.

And just as the diva was opening his own mouth (maybe to say something, maybe to stutter incoherently or scream himself) the not-man _exploded_. Clothes and all - just exploded, disappeared. Ash rained down where he had been standing a moment before.

"That shit never gets old," came the familiar voice from before. Kurt coughed, blinked and realized Noah "Puck" Puckerman was standing directly in front of him.

Had just, apparently, saved his life.

Puck was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, had a large wooden stake in his right hand and what looked like a water pistol tucked haphazardly into his front right pocket. "The dusting," he related and gestured at the pile of ash. "Awesome, right? That never gets old."

Kurt blinked again. Shook his head. "Wha..." He trailed off.

Puck stared at him for a moment, then nodded. "Right. Yeah. You're probably wondering what's going on right? Well. Monsters exist. And I hunt them. And...yeah. That's pretty much all the important stuff."

Kurt nodded, swallowed.

Then shook his head again. "_What?"_


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three**

Suddenly, the library's double doors burst open. Puck hissed out a curse and moved the hand burdened with the stake so it was behind his back; stepped closer to Kurt and gripped his arm.

"Come on," he urged and tugged and started to walk. The smaller teen didn't pull away from the hold or protest. He just followed docilely.

As they walked he noted that Puck had a very small ax tucked into his back pocket. He wondered just how many weapons the football player was in possession of.

When they reached the Navigator Puck stopped and eyed the vehicle before turning to Kurt. He relinquished his grip on the other teenager and held his hand out. His fingers were wiggling in a _gimme_gesture. "Dude," he said. "Give me your keys."

Kurt blinked.

"Look, you want to know what the hell is going on and I want to get the hell away from here before anyone notices the delinquent with the ax _or_before anymore baddies miss their friend and come looking. And you're obviously pretty freaked-"

The soprano pointed at the ground. "I dropped them when he jumped me. There."

Puck made a pleased sound and bent to retrieve the keys while Kurt went around to the passenger side. He waited and watched as the football player opened the back door and placed his stake and ax and the books Kurt had left sitting on the driver side down before closing the door and climbing up into the driver seat.

The jock reached over to pop open the passenger side door and the soprano climbed in himself; stared as Puck started the engine.

For a brief second Kurt considered protesting; demanding that _he_ drive because this was Puck of all people and because it was _his_car and because his dad would absolutely flip if he let anyone who wasn't insured drive it.

But his former tormentor was right. He _was_freaked out - confused and scared and definitely not willing to wait around to see if any of the exploding man's friends would show.

The vehicle pulled smoothly out of the parking spot and away from the library.

"What..." he began when they had reached a red light, Puck gripping the steering wheel with one hand and fiddling with the radio knob with the other. "What just happened? You know what that was? What just happened?"

He paused. The football player had settled on a radio station Kurt wasn't familiar with that was playing a song he wasn't familiar with. The light they were still waiting on turned green and the larger teenager hit the gas.

"That guy...he just _attacked_me," he continued and Puck nodded.

"Yeah. I saw that. It sucks and all but...it happens." He shrugged and Kurt gaped.

"It _happens_?"

"Well, yeah. But that was kind of strange," amended the jock. He shot a pointed look out the window and at the sky. "For one thing it was still early...the sun hadn't gone down completely yet..." Puck trailed off at that and grinned. "That's what made him explode like that, you know. The sunlight. I pulled down his stupid hood. Well _that_and the stake I jammed into his heart from behind. It isn't usually as intense."

Kurt was still trying to digest all of that when the other boy went on.

"And the fact that he was trying to take you somewhere was pretty weird, too. Unless he just meant he was going to take you to a nearby alley and drain you or something. That makes sense."

_Drain me._

"So that man...was a vampire?"

They were passing the school; Kurt granted it a look. It was a collection of vague, mostly square shapes in the rapidly darkening night.

"Well. Yeah."

Kurt took a deep breath and fought the urge to be angry, the urge to say something biting. He didn't deserve that tone, a tone that suggested that maybe Puck felt sorry for him or thought he was hopeless or stupid or both. He had every right to be confused and scared and generally freaked out. Even so...he held his tongue. Because the football player had just saved his life. And because he had something more important to focus on, a problem to solve and keep him anchored.

"Dude...listen. I know it's insane but try not to freak out too much."

Silence.

Kurt stared out the passenger side window, realized they were heading toward his house. For a crazy moment he wondered how Puck knew where he lived. Then he remembered Finn and the Xbox 360 and the fact that his former bully had been over just about every week since his father and Carol had started dating.

The diva shifted in his seat as they came to a stop at another red light. "This..." He trailed off and cleared his throat. It was difficult to get the words out, hard to wrap his tongue around what he was trying to say.

Because, yeah, he wasn't exactly _used_to chatting with Noah Puckerman period much less about things like vampires. Things like...whatever in the hell the freakishness Lima was caught up in was about.

"The vampire. Does that have anything to do with everything else that's going on?"

Puck didn't answer right away. The Hummel household came into view and the Navigator rolled slowly into the driveway. The jock parked and shut off the engine before turning to look at Kurt. "What do you mean?"

He seemed suddenly more serious. He was sitting up straight, muscles tense and intimidating and the soprano had to make an effort not to look away from the dark eyes boring into his own.

He waved a hand. "Everything else that's going on. You know. The...singing and dancing."

As if in disbelief, Puck slowly shook his head. Kurt noticed the larger teenager was gripping the keys in his hand so hard his knuckles were white. "You...noticed that?"

The diva took in a deep breath and nodded. From the corner of his eye he saw the curtain that hung in the living room window fluttering - he watched it for a moment and it fluttered again. Probably the air conditioning, then. He was positive that if his father or Finn or even Carol had seen him sitting in his Navigator with Noah Puckerman through the window they would have been standing in the driveway in about two seconds flat demanding to know what was going on.

The football player broke the awkward silence with a snort. "Of all the..." He seemed to catch himself, stopped for a moment before speaking again. "_You_ noticed _that_? This shit has been happening since before the end of the school year and no one, not even the fucking baddies I've questioned have had a clue what-"

Kurt cut in. "Baddies?"

"You know, vampires and all."

The diva sputtered. "And _all_? What does that-"

"Look, it doesn't matter okay?" Puck took a deep breath; seemed to finally realize the keys he was holding were digging into his flesh and handed them over. "Like I said before, try not to freak out too much. I'll take care of it. It's what I do, okay? I'm badass. Just tell me...how did you notice?"

Kurt took the keys and shrugged. "I don't know. I...well. I didn't notice right away. I noticed when I came back from visiting my grandmother - I went for a week after school let out. She lives a few hours away."

"And what? When you got back you just knew what was going on?"

He shook his head. "No. I thought about it when I was there. Like, while I was still at my grandmother's I thought about what was going on here and just sort of suddenly...realized it was strange."

The soprano watched as Puck worked at his bottom lip with his teeth. "Okay," he said after a long moment. "Okay." He was staring intensely; Kurt followed his gaze and realized the larger teenager was focusing on the hand he was gripping his thigh with. The hand was shaking, looked pale and startlingly small in such close proximity to Puck's own broad palms and long fingers.

The soprano abruptly stopped gripping his own leg and made a fist in an effort to stop the shaking. He had a reason and a right to be scared. He _was_scared. But that didn't mean he wanted to or thought it was okay to look weak in front of Puck.

The jock's dark eyes met his own. "It's cool," he said after an uncomfortable stretch of quiet. "I'll take care of it. I mean...maybe your noticing the crazy shit that's going down means something. It gives me something to work with." He shrugged and shifted in his seat, pulled at the door handle and the door popped open but he didn't move to get out. His gaze darted again to Kurt's still slightly shaking fist - almost too quick to notice before going back to his face. "I know all of this is some crazy shit and you're freaked and all, dude. But I kick serious ass, you don't have to worry."

_Is he...trying to comfort me or something?_

Flummoxed by such a thought Kurt simply nodded and moved to stare at the keys he was holding, the keys he was holding in the hand that Noah Puckerman _didn't_seem strangely fixated on. "Okay," he replied. "That's good. Because everything is really weird right now and...I'm glad you're going to take care of it. And thanks for earlier. For saving me from that vampire."

The football player did an awkward sort of turn-and-reach in his seat. He grabbed his ax and then hopped out of the vehicle. "See you around, Hummel. I'm going to hoof it. I call it patrol, gives me a chance to mingle with the darker side of Lima if you know what I mean." He snapped his door shut and started down the driveway.

Kurt was frozen for a second. Then he forced his own door open and stepped out. "Wait!" he called. Because he couldn't help it. He didn't exactly like Puck but the guy had just finished saving his life and apparently dealt with things like vampires on a regular basis and was now going to attempt to stop whatever this singing and dancing strangeness overtaking Lima was. He didn't like the fact that the jock was dealing with it all on his own, wanted to at least know why the other teenager thought he had to.

"Puck," he said when the boy had turned to look at him. "Why do you do this? Fight vampires and...all? How did you even find out about this stuff being real in the first place?"

The teenager was already on the sidewalk, cast mostly in shadow but Kurt could hear the grin in his words. "Let's just say it...runs in the family."

The diva was still turning that around and around in his mind as the jock walked away. He reached a corner and turned, disappeared from sight.

Kurt snapped the ajar passenger side door of his Navigator shut and walked up to the front door, turned the knob and walked inside.

* * *

><p>Finn was still sprawled on the living room couch. A few feet in front of him the coffee table was littered with fun sized candy bar wrappers, empty soda cans and what looked like Cheeto crumbs. Kurt's dad was on the recliner, a controller clutched in his hands and a look of intense concentration on his face.<p>

"Shoot her, shoot her!" cried Finn and Burt was mashing buttons and nodding. There was a scream and then the screen went dark before a bloody GAME OVER flashed.

"Hello," said Kurt. He watched the GAME OVER slowly drip and swallowed hard. He was glad Burt was playing with Finn. After being attacked by a vampire he wasn't really in the mood for any gory Xbox 360 games. "You guys having fun?"

"Yeah," muttered Burt. "But there's so many damn buttons and this witch or whatever she is won't die..." He trailed off and shook his head before starting again. "You okay, son? Have fun at the...library?"

Kurt nodded. "Yeah. Fun."

Finn sifted through the pile of wrappers and crumbs. He found an uneaten Snickers and, looking triumphant, leaned back into the sofa.

Burt leaned forward in his seat. "I forget to tell you earlier. We saw your old coach, Tanaka, at the restaurant this morning while I was paying. You and Carol and Rachel had already walked out. He asked about you. Said to tell you hello."

Kurt nodded again. He was still staring at the fake blood on the screen. It had stopped dripping, was frozen in place and the diva's stomach was turning. He felt sick. Wanted to be away from the living room suddenly, wanted to be away from Lima and vampires and creepy singing and dancing. "Oh, that's nice. I think I'm going to go call Mercedes now. You guys have fun."

Burt leaned back but Finn shot him a narrow eyed look as he rushed passed the couch. He ignored the tall teenager and made it to the door that led down to the basement, closed it behind him and hurried down the stairs.

He rushed to the bathroom - fell to his knees in front of the toilet, pushed up the lid and gagged. But that was all. He didn't vomit, just sort of made a gagging sound in his throat. His stomach was turning and he was suddenly sweating and he felt sick, felt like he should be in the middle of being sick, but nothing was happening.

He waited a few minutes before standing. He moved over to the sink and ran the water, rinsed his face and his mouth.

He turned off the light and left the bathroom. Walked over to his bed and fell into it; stared up at the white ceiling.

So. The spontaneous show tune crisis wasn't in his head. And his research hadn't been helpful at all. And vampires were very, very real. But that was all okay because Noah Puckerman was secretly a defender of innocents.

_Right. Great._

Kurt groaned, roughly grabbed the afghan that was folded at the foot of his bed and spread it over himself. Pulled it up over his head.

"No!" came Finn's muffled cry from upstairs. "Burt, you have to stake the vampires. With something wooden. A wooden stake, that's the only way you can kill those things!"

Still covered with the afghan, the diva fiddled with the chain around his neck and barked out a harsh, short laugh.


End file.
